2011英语六级高分范文(八)
2016-03-18 17:55:36   来源：网络资源    双击单词自动翻译

　　Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:

　　1)现在有越来越多人的选择节食，有的人是为了健康，但是更多的人是为了有一个苗条的身材

　　2)分析节食减肥可能带来的影响

　　3)你的建议

　　On Dieting

　　_______________________________________________________________________________

　　_______________________________________________________________________________

　　_______________________________________________________________________________

　　行文思路 　我要看看

　　本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象并要求说明原因，提纲第2点要求分析这种现象可能带来的影响，提纲第3点要求针对该现象提出“我”的建议，由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。

　　根据所给提纲，本文应包含如下内容：描述越来越多的人节食的现象并分析主要原因;阐述节食不当可能带来的影响;针对节食给出“我”的建议。

　　高分范文

　　On Dieting

　　Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.

　　[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.

　　[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.

　　【亮点点评】

　　[1]“尤其”，表示强调。

　　[2]“成为主力军”。

　　[3]过渡衔接词语，使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。

　　[4]用于引出对危害或负面影响的阐述。

　　[5]“not only… but also”用于连接并列成分。

　　[6]“考虑到，鉴于”，介词。

　　[7]“不管因为什么原因”，whatever意为“无论什么”。

　　[8]“only+状语”位于句首，引起句子部分倒装。

　　[9]“像我们期望的那样”。

　　佳句临摹

　　1.佳句：For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.

　　临摹：基因技术不仅使动植物受益而且还有助于提高人类的生活质量。

　　___________________________________________________________________________.

　　2.佳句：In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.